Dear Me Blog

 Dear me…

As a junior in college, you were just trying your best and going through the motions (like everyone else). You wanted to fit in and emulate what you thought a typical college student should look like. Then, along came the opportunity to become a writing consultant. That’s immediately when the fear started, I began questioning myself and my own personal writing. I was unsure how I, a typical college student, would have enough skills to help others. How would I manage being insecure with myself when I was supposed to be someone my peers looked to find their own confidence?

When it came to your first day of work, you were sitting in the writing lab waiting for your learner to show up with anxiety pouring out of your body. It was probably the most anxious you ever got in your life - aside from applying to college in the first place. You were so excited to meet your colleagues, yet so nervous that you were going to disappoint them. Thoughts streamed through your head of being a leader, but scenarios of letdown clouded your head.

That’s where the lessons come in: confidence is gained within and being able to help others was key in learning how to use my inherent skills. I now know that the judgement sprung upon the title of a “tutor” is merely a stereotype. Being a tutor has this aura of perfection (and some might even call you a know-it-all). That is NOT the truth! I found that it is always ok to admit that you don’t know how to do something a learner needs help with and it’s certainly not frowned upon to use your resources. Looking back on it, I know that being able to use the Internet and other resources was my best asset besides my personal knowledge. 

From this, I keep reminding myself to look how far I’ve grown. To look at the confidence that beams from my eyes. To look at the impact I’ve made on others. Being a writing consultant has been the most rewarding job experience because every time I meet with a student, I am learning alongside them. Each session brings about a new lesson for both of us as we guide one another to success in our own ways. 

Having the title of Writing Lab Consultant is definitely the most prestigious job I’ve ever had. Being inundated with fearful emotions from day one has led me to overcome my weaknesses and gain newfound personal accomplishments. Acknowledging my doubts was something that I was able to overcome to bring forth this newly established confidence as I continue my final year in the writing lab and college.